Trouble With A Capital T
by Gmusick
Summary: Naruto is summoned by Tsunade and returns returns home from his trip earlier than expected. He walks into a mess with two fiancees, two females actively pursuing him, a jealous teammate, a lovestruck ramen girl, and a supposedly dead Soundnin. Oops!
1. Chapter 1

**Trouble With a Capital T**

By: Gmusick

**Chapter 1: You Have Just Entered the Twilight Zone**

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, boy I wish I did, but I don't.

Tsunade rubbed the vitally sensitive area between both temples on her head, and tried to will away the boulder-sized headache. When she woke up this morning, she valiantly exclaimed it would be better than the last. It never really was, her days almost always sunk into the black hole of tomes of paperwork and dealing with angry complaints, but it was a ritual she picked up from Naruto secondhand.

Sitting in her chair, paperwork finally done and what was supposed to be a beautiful day ahead of her, Tsunade knew Naruto wasn't anywhere around, yet, but the urge to strangle him was tantamount, screaming to be the first thing she accomplished when he walked through those double doors of hers.

Why?

Because sitting across from her where four people that were making her day rotten as hell.

One was the still feared and now respected Kazekage of the Sand. Suubaku no Gaara sat in his normal dark brown attire, sans his ever famous sand jug, his features still maintaining the blank look everyone knew him for. With the seriousness of the situation he looked as if she were trying to get him to join a gardening club.

To his left was his sister Temari. The blonde-haired jounin sat in an elaborate combat dress Tsunade had never seen before, hai-tate tied around her head, the dark purple clothing pressed to perfection despite her recent travels. The angry scowl on her face did nothing to stop the imperceptible, almost dangerous beauty she held.

To their right sat an older man, not by much, but he was farther into adulthood than young Gaara. The Mizukage wore the elaborate robes that came with his calling. The ceremonial hat sat perched upon his head, shielding his eyes from view. He seemed surprisingly quiet, not surprising with the subject matter being discussed.

And to his right sat what could only be described as the epitome of womanhood, a young woman that went by the name of Haku. Black hair cascaded down her back in waves, brown eyes, and light pale skin. She wore an elaborate kimono, one that looked worth more than anything Tsunade could afford in her entire lifetime, and that was saying a lot. If not for the sword she'd seen the young woman heft without any effort, Tsunade would have taken her for some dainty woman that was unable to defend herself.

These four people were gathered into her office to talk about a subject Tsunade wouldn't have guessed would come up in a million years.

"Okay, so the preliminaries are out the way, why now? Why bring this to my attention now?"

Gaara seemed inclined to talk only when he felt like it, so the Mizukage, a far easier man to deal with, spoke up. "Kiri has fallen on dire times I'm afraid. The bloodline civil war left a disabling wound on the village my father ruled that has not healed. In order to help with the reconstruction, I established a governing council and their first unilateral decision was to establish allies, or establish one that could help stabilize the country, naturally the Leaf was selected."

Tsunade shook her head, accepting his reason, but not the person. "But why him of all people?"

The man released a breath, glancing at the young woman seated next to him.

"My daughter has expressed an interest in the young man. From a past battle during one of her missions he made quite the impression on her, she has constantly alluded to him in several talks since then. When the council came up with the idea of unifying the treaty through this means, she approached and readily volunteered herself. Her only stipulation was that he be chosen."

Tsunade didn't miss the deceptive glance shot at the female mist-nin from the other young woman in attendance, nor did Jiraiya, who was sitting on one of the window sills behind her from the looks of things. How the pervert caught wind of this meeting she didn't know, she only asked him to return Naruto a little earlier than he originally planned, but no matter how serious he looked at the moment, she'd known him too long not to know the lecherous thoughts cycling through his head.

Nodding to the Mizukage, Tsunade turned toward Gaara. "It seems the Hidden Sand has similar circumstances but for different reasons, am I correct?"

"Yes," Gaara replied in monotone, his voice somehow easily carrying across the room, never losing its impact. "Following the attack during the Chuunin Exam, the treaty between our two villages was renegotiated. The terms were that we send one or more shinobi over to the Hidden Leaf to set up politically arranged marriages."

"Temari and two other males were chosen. However, I did not want my sister entering into something she would hate, no matter the situation, so a compromise was met. Her intended would be left alone until he reached the appropriate age and then the complete terms of the agreement would be fulfilled."

Haku listened to the sand-controlling Kazekage and wondered if anyone had heard him speak so many sentences at one time without dying. True, she didn't know him personally, but from sight and second hand stories that reached even the shores of the Wave Country, she knew enough to stay away from him unless the situation called for her to be anywhere in his vicinity.

"How does Temari feel about this?" Tsunade asked.

Temari stood, before Tsunade waved her back down into her seat. "I will do whatever is best for Suna. My opinion matters not in this case."

'_Oh you got an opinion alright. I'll get it out of you sooner or later,' _Tsunade mentally promised.

"I pose the same question to you. Why him? Out of everyone in the entire village, why request him?"

Gaara's spoke before Temari could answer the question herself. "I will trust no one else with my sister. He is the only male I respect enough to do the right thing."

Temari failed to stifle the exhale of disbelief; looking at her younger brother, who continued to keep his gaze on the Godaime. It was so unlike Gaara to admit anything emotional. Even hearing the words made her do a double take to make sure he was the same slightly demented little brother she grew up with.

True, their relationship was on far better terms now than ever, but this, this was beyond anything she would have imagined.

Tsunade recognized the touching moment between brother and sister, but reluctantly continued on. "Now this is an unprecedented occurrence. I don't think I've ever seen a situation like this. I'm at a loss to how we sort this out without one side being locked out and being the loser."

"I don't see why he can't marry both of them." Jiraiya helpfully pointed out.

"Jiraiya, if you want to keep all your teeth intact I suggest you stay in your corner and be quiet," Tsunade growled out, the pencil in her hand snapping under the extreme pressure. "Only someone affiliated with you could have something like this happen to him."

Jiraiya looked appalled. "Are you saying I had something to do with this?"

"Yes Jiraiya, yes I am. Where is he anyway? I told you to tell him…"

"I did," Jiraiya cut her off. "The brat does what he wants, you know that."

Haku raised her hand to her mouth to stifle a small round of giggles, and Temari just shook her head, remembering what he was like years ago during the Chuunin exam.

"Is the young man a suitable choice?" the Mizukage asked.

Tsunade had to really think about that, and unluckily or luckily depending on your opinion, she didn't have a moment of time to do that, because she heard the voice of Uzumaki Naruto let itself be known as he came toward her doors.

"Hey, hey. I gotta meeting with the old lady, let me in."

A small knot on Tsunades eyebrow popped up and she immediately decided that today would be a two-tick day. What that meant was Naruto had exactly two chances to piss her off before she went nuclear and hurt him, very badly.

The door slid open and Naruto waltzed in all smiles, as if he had not a care in the world. "Tsunade-bachan, Ero-Sennin said you wanted to meet me."

Tsunade simply lowered her head to the table, hoping it would swallow her up and help her disappear. Jiraiya continued sitting, shooting Naruto his most soul destroying glare. It didn't work like he wanted it to because Naruto was no longer paying attention to the two of them, his attention diverted to the guests sitting in the room.

"Gaara, I haven't seen you in a while. What's this rumor going around about making you Kage before me," Naruto said with a small pout.

"It would appear that you have not changed much."

Naruto's grin changed into something more confident, a light touch of arrogance shinning in his eyes. "I can promise you I've changed a lot. Wanna go spar after this?"

Gaara didn't smile, there wasn't a time in his entire life he could recall ever feeling an emotion worthy enough to smile. But there was miniscule upturn of his lips and that was good enough for Naruto to understand. "I look forward to it, but some other time. There is business that needs to be taken care of."

Naruto stopped smiling and looked to the left of Gaara. His eyes locked with Temari's, happy to see her but surprised all the same. "Temari, Shikamaru said you were here. How ya been?"

"Can't complain," she said with a shrug. "By the end of the day my attitude might change."

Thinking nothing of her comment he moved his attention to the other side of the room.

Big, funny looking hat.

Long, girly looking robes.

A crap load of hidden chakra.

Bowing at an embarrassingly impossible angle, Naruto tried keeping his voice as neutral as possible. "Mizukage-sama, I apologize for interrupting your meeting. Please accept my sincerest apologies."

Tsunade blinked at the spectacle, almost chocking on her own breath. "W-W-What?"

"Jiraiya-sensei didn't tell me there were going to be people here."

Jiraiya slowly pulled his jaw up from the floor. "S-S-S-Sensei?"

"I take their expressions to mean this display of formality is a rare occurrence?" the Mizukage asked with a small chuckle.

Sheepishly rubbing the back of his head, Naruto said, "Sorta. They're my family so I don't bother with the sama and all that stuff."

Both sannin's livid expressions changed to varying degrees of affection. Tsunade, who would always consider Naruto the son she never had, let a small smile play across her lips. And Jiraiya seemed extremely proud, chest popping out in a display a machismo.

Temari quirked an eyebrow in a silent question to her brother. As expected, he didn't answer, but she could tell he knew more than she knew about what was going on.

"You are comrades with the Kazekage and consider two of Konoha's prized sannin your family. That is some impressive company you keep," the Mizukage remarked.

"Of course. I'm going to be the Hokage someday. Got to have good friends and family to back you up."

The Mizukage's eyes narrowed a bit. "Really now."

Naruto didn't notice, giving off his now automatic response. "Of course. I'm going to be the greatest Hokage that ever lived."

"That is a formidable task you are seeking."

"Psssh. I'm ready for it. I'm going to protect all my precious people, and let baa-can retire so she can sleep all day."

Something flashed in the older mans eyes. "I will hopefully look forward to your future coronation."

Naruto smiled, making the familiar gesture of rubbing the back of his head when he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You have grown Naruto-kun."

Naruto stopped, looking around the room for the voice that brought him out of his blissful daydream of rampaging across the country in his own set of kage robes.

Squinting in the direction of the raven-haired female in the nice looking kimono, Naruto said, "Hmm… I've seen you somewhere before."

She gave him a soft smile, eyes sparkling in delight. "Yes you have. It has been some time now."

Crossing his arms at mid-chest, Naruto wracked his brain for a moment. "I've been so many places it's hard to pick out one face."

"I'll help you out. Remember three years ago, the Wave Country, battle on the bridge."

Something clicked in his head and he let everyone know it as loud as he could.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Naruto screamed, flipping upside down grasping the ceiling like a frightened house cat. "Baa-chan, there a ghost next to the Mizukage, save him."

Everybody, except Gaara and the two seated Mist-nin, looked at Naruto as if he'd lost his mind.

"NARUTO IF YOU DON"T GET DOWN I WILL HURT YOU!" Tsuande roared.

"B-B-But, she's a ghost."

When it looked like Tsunade would follow through on her threat, Haku held up her hand to stall the horrific beat-down.

"If I may Hoakge-sama?"

Tsunade didn't let up the promising gleam of pain in her eyes, but she nodded, permitting Haku to speak.

"Three years ago there was a battle on what is now called the Great Naruto Bridge. There a supposed rogue-nin named Haku met her end when the Konoha jounin Hatake Kakahi pierced her heart with his signature move, the chidori."

"You seem pretty healthy to be dead," Tsunade quipped.

"Yes. And there is a very elaborate story involved. One I will tell you in due time Naruto-kun."

"So you're not a ghost come back to haunt Kakashi-sensei for killing you?" Naruto asked from his position on the ceiling.

"No Naruto-kun, I'm not a ghost."

"Wow," Naruto said, landing softly on his feet. "You're a lot better than I could have ever thought. You even fooled Kakashi-sensei."

Haku blushed under the high praise. "Thank you Naruto-kun."

Tsunade brought the conversation back to task, again marveling at how Naruto could throw everything into total chaos the moment he stepped foot in a place. "Because Naruto obviously knows you two, we won't have to bother making introductions, and that makes this a lot easier."

Naruto blank expression looked back at her and Tsunade felt a momentary pain of anguish before it was swept away in a tide of giddy victory. _'Embarrass me will you. I'm going to love the look on your face.'_ "Naruto, I have some interesting news for you."

His face perked up and Jiraiya knew Tsunade was only setting him up for the downfall. _'Evil woman indeed.'_

"Because of mitigating circumstances, both the Sand and Mist would like to enter into a peace treaty with the Leaf. While that is a good thing, there are some stipulations."

"And what's that?" he asked, slightly wary. He didn't like the look in the old lady's eyes.

"That you marry the representative from their village. Haku has been chosen from the Mist and Temari has been chosen from the Sand."

For what seemed like minutes he didn't say anything, Naruto simply stared back at the Hokage in silent communication. Then out the blue, he said, "But I can't get married Tsunade-baa-chan."

Tsunade frowned, asking, "Why not?"

"Because Tenten just told me I was going to be her boyfriend."

* * *

AN: Thanks got to JohhnyG, who seems to like Naruto getting multi-girl love as much as I do. Talk about finding the perfect beta.

Where did this come from? From watching too much damn SHUFFLE! and from browsing the Naruto fanfiction section, which looks like its turning into a fanatic fangirl's heaven. Not complaining, just making an observation. This place hasn't been the same for a long time.

Now story wise, got Naruto being chased by multiple women? CHECK. Got a bunch of beautiful young women with Naruto placed in an uncomfortable situation? CHECK. Do the beautiful women know how to kick ass? CHECK. Will Naruto be walking on eggshells for fear of his utter doom? CHECKAROONIE. You know Haku's a dude, but you turned him into a chick? CHECKAPOWSKIE. This story is totally ridiculous, what about honor, what about integrity? ...Okay, good point, but they're ninjas so that's a good enough reason for me to bend the rules. Plus, you should have see this thing before I toned it down. So CHECK.

Next chapter introduces the rest of the female cast.

Ah, multi-girl fics. You gottta love them.

Last thing. Just got my cable back on and turned to Cartoon Network to see One Piece. I think the doctor I went to see after the show went off said I'll never regain my eyesight, horrible doesn't even begin to describe the sight. I'm now scared shitless to see what the American Naruto is like.


	2. Chapter 2

**Trouble With a Capital T**

By: Gmusick

**Chapter 2: Contestants, Start Your Scheming**

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, boy I wish I did, but I don't.

"Today is the day."

Tenten didn't give herself a lot of pep speeches, but today she was more excited than she could recall being for a long time. Not only was her team on a short break after a torrid amount of missions, but she would hopefully get a positive answer from the person she'd held an almost smoldering affection for.

It would send a numerous amount of people into epileptic convulsions if they found out she was not talking about Hyyuga Neji.

Though she would admit she cared for her friend, that childish crush she fostered in her youth petered out over time. They were just too different to overcome a lot of the differences between them. Neji, despite the dramatic change, was still the same person somewhat, just slightly less angsty and Tenten, as much as she worked toward her dream of becoming a kunoichi of much repute, she liked having fun.

Neji was anything but fun. In fact, the Hyuuga genius could have the personality of a stone statue sometimes.

A personality like that was not conducive to a fun-loving relationship. How the hell Ino managed to coral him into a relationship she would never know. The girl could get her stone-faced teammate to do almost anything.

That was where her interest in Naruto originally stemmed from.

She remembered hearing about some of his exploits. The Hokage painting, egging the one of the villager's home, setting off a stink bomb in the academy, these were only some of the stories she overheard, but they piqued her interest. So she went and gathered as much information as she could about this Naruto character and when they met face-to-face, she was sadly disappointed.

Short, loud, rude, he was everything a young girl hated in a prospective boyfriend. And like so many others, she relegated him to the back of her mind, forgetting he even existed.

But oh did he fix that little problem.

If she had to pinpoint the exact moment the amount of interest she displayed in him changed it would be the chuunin exams.

She learned three things during that time. One, Neji was an asshole of the extreme amount. Two, Sasuke for all his hotness, was just as crazy and mentally deranged as her teammate. And three, Naruto as loud and coarse as he was, seemed to radiate a confidence that everyone surrounding him unconsciously soaked up.

It was on display during the written test, when he shouted out how they couldn't stop him no matter what they did. It was on display when Neji cruelly beat on his cousin Hinata, with Naruto defending Hinata, vowing payback for treating her so harshly. And then there was the match in the finals, the one she knew Naruto was going to lose no matter how much time he had to train. After all, Neji was a genius of the highest caliber. Some people even making the point that he was stronger than Sasuke.

But going against the perception everyone had of him was a natural character trait of Naruto's, he defied the natural assumption. Not only had he beaten Neji after her teammate unleashed his ultimate attack, he did it without making Neji feel any less of himself. Naruto said maybe two or three sentences, then pranced around the arena in one of the most ridiculous dances she had ever seen.

That moment, it was as if a metaphorical hammer slammed into the back of her head, and she looked at him in a new light. Just like that. Funny, people constantly ragged on him about being dead last in his class and so forth. If this was the supposed dead last, then maybe the word genius needed to be redefined.

And even after that moment, she continued witnessing him bring change to their village. The one thing she wanted to thank him for, he had no clue she knew about. How he managed to bring her idol Tsunade back to Konoha, Tenten didn't know, but she felt indebted to him.

So for days after the battle with the Sand and Sound, Tenten poked, prodded, and thoroughly examined this new attraction she had for the blue-eyed blonde. She'd been pining away for Neji for so long, being attracted to someone new so suddenly seemed like a foreign concept to her.

But she did work through it, and the thought of trying to establish a relationship with Naruto didn't seem anywhere near as harrowing a task as it was trying to get Neji.

And what did she do when this great epiphany hit her?

Natta.

First that asshole Sasuke left, then came that damnable mission, then everyone was injured or nearly dying, both of her teammates hurt again, without her lifting a finger. And in the middle of that chaos Naruto managed to slip away to train with Jiraiya-sama for three years. If not for Shizune-san, who was fast becoming one of her best friends, she wouldn't have known that much

So for three years she lived, trained, and waited. In his absence she didn't forget him, on the contrary, his absence was felt by everyone. They may not have said it, but his energy was missing, leaving a void everyone could feel. It was then she promised herself that the next time she saw him she wouldn't hesitate. There wouldn't be any of the nervous babbling or wide-eyed girlish giggling. She'd ask him to go out and wouldn't take no for an answer. And just to be sure, she had Shizune-san keep her up to date on anything related to him. Of course she never learned much, Tsunade-sama was extremely tight-lipped about anything concerning Naruto, Shizune told her, but as long as she knew when he returned, that was enough.

And return he did, a lot earlier than she was told he would, but he came back. And she was one the first people he saw… after Tsunade-sama, Shizune-san, Iruka-san, the nice people at Ichiraku, Sakura…. Oh hell, forget it.

The point was she was able to corner him, release everything she had kept built up in her chest, and watch him stand there in a stupor. When it became apparent he wouldn't be moving for quite some time, she left to let think over it during the day, promising to check up with him the next day to find her answer.

Now here she was, freshening up if you will just a bit. Being raised solely by her father, her mother running off to marry some rich bastard in one of the big cities, she didn't have a lot of feminine advice handed to her. It was part of the reason she focused so much on being a ninja instead of worrying over frivolous things like so many other girls.

Life wasn't without its own twists and ironic turns however. Though she would never admit it, even under weapon point and being tortured by listening to Gai-sensei sing his favorite karaoke classics, maybe she should have sat down and joined in those mundane girl-to-girl conversations.

"No use in thinking about that now," she murmured to herself. "What's done is done."

It wasn't like she wasn't attractive. She had been propositioned numerous times since 'filling out.' Putting her hands under the slight weight of her breast, Tenten gave a slight squeeze. "Nice weight, slight bit of sag, but I heard some guys like that… in other words perfect."

Turning down suitors left and right, she never lost sight of her ultimate goal, and now that it was in sight, she felt the battle was already over. Naruto didn't stand a chance.

Smoothing down the front of her blouse, she gave one last glance to the mirror, fixing the smallest imperfections.

"Okay girl, time to get this show on the road, You can do it. And if he turns you down, simply tell Neji and Lee Naruto turned you down, breaking your heart into a million itty, bitty pieces."

The magnitude of the brawl should hopefully be enough to lift her spirits.

* * *

Hyuuga Hinata sat across from her father, silently sipping the cooling tea in her hand, soaking in the serenity of the moment. With the increase in her clan responsibilities, it was rare she got to enjoy moments like this. Allowing the cool breeze to blow onto the patio, listening to the birds, the trees, nature itself sing its beautiful song. And to add to the pleasant moment was her father. The man she spent so many years being afraid of. Emotionally traumatized from his words and actions, her earlier years were spent crying in her room, hiding herself from everything she considered hurtful in the world.

When Naruto left, she thought that with the one thing that she cherished in her life, it couldn't get any worse. Not only had he not recognized her, but he wanted to get away from Konoha bad enough to spend three years in the wilds.

It may sound crazy to outside ears, but in her mind that one fact kept itself firmly rooted for weeks on end. It was there when she woke, trained, ate, slept, it existed in every activity she did, mental and physical.

Funny thing is, when you are at your lowest, often times it inspired the most profound of changes.

One morning, while training in one of the mansions various training grounds, her father came out and gave her an unexpected inspection. His words had been anything but shining and congratulatory. But during his scathing rebuke, Hinata could feel herself getting angry.

Not the one and done kind where a person throws a fit and then eventually goes back to normal. This was rage. The kind that festered for years, multiplying upon itself, growing into something dark and smoldering. And for the first time in her life, Hinata didn't try to wrap it up and toss it into the dark recesses of her mind. Instead she grasped it, freed it from the shackles she had put upon it. And it had one target, the source of so much of her heartache and pain. So many of her nightmares stemmed from the man sneering at her, and it was time to make him pay.

The fight only lasted a few short minutes. The element of surprise she held was short-lived. No matter how angry, how furious she was, her father was still one of the strongest ninjas in Konoha, and she was horribly inexperienced.

After spending two weeks in the hospital, a few of those days being spent unconscious, she was released and it seemed like she walked into a different world.

Everyone seemed to acknowledge her, though in different ways. Her teammates, even Kurenai-sensei, seemed proud that she finally stood up for herself, even if it was something as radical as going against the Hyuuga head. Her cousin Neji, would stare at her in mute fascination, shaking his head at random intervals, failing to picture the timid Hinata as an enraged attacker. And so on the picture went. The younger generation pictured her as some kind of rebel, a girl who had enough of being pushed around, someone who finally decided to fight back.

The older generation of elders were not so enthralled with her performance. Many of them, Hyuuga heads primarily, wanted her denounced from the clan. Such as breach of protocol would not be tolerated they said. If she was allowed to get away with such an attempt others would do the same. Though surprised at the changed perception of her in the mostly shinobi ranks, the most startling was her father.

Since the death of her mother, the man had never uttered a single kind word to her. Their exchanges were always his glares and sharp recriminations, followed by her meekly shrinking away with a nod.

But when she returned home, he cornered her in her room. And with the look he was giving her she wondered if her attacking him was the final straw. The one thing he was looking for to cast her out of the clan and wipe his hands of her.

He did the last thing she would have ever expected him to do.

Hyuuga Hiashi, head of the Hyuuga clan, her father, apologized.

For what seemed like hours, he simply stood at the foot of her bed, and talked to her. It was the changing point in their relationship.

He wasn't all that different to any outsiders, but to his two daughters, as well as Neji to a degree, he was the father Hinata spent countless nights praying he would become.

"You seem… peaceful this morning daughter."

Hinata pulled herself from her mental recount of the past, gifting her father with a beautiful smile. "Yes, it is a beautiful day today."

"Are you sure this has nothing to do with the Uzumaki child that has returned?" Hiashi asked behind a sip of morning tea.

Personally, Hiashi had no problem with his daughter pursuing the boy. For one, he didn't allow himself to function off of base emotions like so many lower class citizens. As long as the child was able to keep the beast contained and continue to do so till his grave, then the two of them would not have any problems.

The thought of marrying the kind of power Naruto held into his family never crossed his mind once… seriously.

Failing to hide the red blush on her cheeks, Hinata valiantly tried to derail the train of thought her father was heading on. "No, I am simply glad we have a chance to talk this morning. You have been so busy lately. Is something troubling you?"

"Ah. Konoha is entering interesting times. Everyone will have to remain vigilant in the coming trials."

"Is everything alright?" Hinata asked.

"Nothing you should trouble yourself over. You should also note that trying to distract me from the subject will not work."

Releasing a sigh, resigned to the fact that her father would not be dropping the subject, Hinata answered the initial question. "Naruto-kun is back, but I still cannot approach him without making a fool of myself." For just a moment, Hinata's visage was pained, something Hiashi caught easily. "I want to tell him how I feel, but… when I'm around him the words get caught and the only thing I can do is stutter and stare."

"Hmm."

Hinata seemed to sink further into herself, one of the few old habits she was still struggling to get rid of. "Maybe I'm not meant to be with him. After three years of trying to make myself stronger so I could be someone he could rely on; sadly, I'm still weak when it comes to talking to the most important thing."

"Very well then," Hiashi answered, his voice grave. "If that is how you feel then I can't help you anymore than I have."

"Otousan?"

"If you think the battle is already lost, then it is. A disheartened shinobi is always the first to die on the battlefield. That's why only the strongest of us survive. To waver means death."

Hinata broke in before his rant went into overdrive. It was something she learned he had the ability to do with frightening regularity. "Umm… Otousan, how does this relate to Naruto?"

Coughing into his hand, Hiashi gave Hinata his most steely gaze. "You must treat this as a battle Hinata. Otherwise you will end up defeated or dead, lost to the eyes of the very thing you seek. You must not waver from your ultimate goal."

"…?"

Hinata was completely lost now. She had no idea what he was talking about.

Leaning down until their faces were only inches apart, Hiashi knew his daughters reticence would need to be squashed out like so many weak shinobi. If his words of encouragement failed to do the job, then this tidbit of information would surely spur her into action like a true Hyuuga.

"I have received word from several very reliable sources that Uzumaki has several suitors claiming his hand."

Of course Hiashi didn't tell Hinata that when he said several, he only meant two. Neji, who Hiashi overheard talking to Ino regarding his female teammate's crush on Naruto, Tonton, Benten, or whatever her name was. And the desk clerk in the Hokage tower. The young woman was one of the greatest gossip hounds in Konoha. When Naruto came out grumbling aloud, she managed to piece together his garbled sentences and took her lunch break to immediately report to him.

"The details are scarce, and knowing the source maybe fabricated, but you cannot let this indecision mar your chances. If the rumors are true, your window of opportunity is shrinking daughter."

Hinata looked shocked, and a little scared. '_Someone else is after Naruto-kun? When did that happen? He's barely been back a week. And someone else is trying to steal him away. Where were they when he was alone, when he needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to?_'

Miraculously, Hinata, in her mental rant, completely forgot about her inability to muster up a conversation with Naruto during those times as well.

The more she thought about, the angrier Hinata was getting. True, she was a rather timid young lady by nature, taking after her departed mother in that regard, but she was fast learning the advantages to throwing the occasional temper tantrum.

Hiashi sat back and watched his daughter's transformation. She would never reach the heights of Neji talent wise, but when she got angry, so drastic was the change that there were very few people that would not cower from the young woman in fear. If Hiashi had his way, and he did, it would be a requirement of any Hyuuga heir.

"Otousan, where is he now?"

Hiashi's smile wasn't pretty; in fact, it was nothing more than a miniscule upturn of his lips. The Hyuuga's facial muscles were allowed to atrophy from so many years of not using them, but he did it anyway. "He should be making his way from the Hokage tower as we speak."

Hinata stood, gave a deep, respectful bow to her father, and marched from the room, her back straight and head held high. Her countenance almost screamed 'touch me and die.'

Watching her leave the room, Hyuuga Hiashi almost felt tears come to his eyes. "Just like her mother," he whispered to the morning air.

* * *

Sakura was not having a pleasant morning and for the life of her she couldn't figure out why. Tsunade-sama let her off today, something that was so far-fetched Sakura had a miserable time sleeping.

Why?

Because practical experience said that anytime she got something for free, it never really was. Especially from her sensei. She did a good job on something, congratulations were in order, but following that would be an even tougher task to complete. It was absolutely maddening, and Sakura wondered if the woman had some sort of sadistic streak in her. The entire time Naruto was gone, the sannin had been in a less than charitable mood. For that alone Sakura was glad her teammate returned home.

'_Liar_,' her consciousness, AKA Inner Sakura, said to her. _'You're happy because you walked in on Naruto training in the forest without his shirt on the other day.'_

"…"

Sakura chose to remain silent, but Inner Sakura would not be swayed.

'_Did you see the way his shoulder muscles bunched up, or those magnificent looking abs. Or what about when he was drinking water from the stream. He looked so heavenly.' _

The memory brought such glee to Inner Sakura she did a small pirouette. Giggling like a mad schoolgirl.

Yes, Sakura did see all that, and her monthly supply of drool ran out in record time. When she caught herself ogling Naruto of all people, Sakura thought it was high time to leave, maybe as a safety precaution she could get a checkup to make sure there wasn't anything seriously wrong with her mentally.

'_I mean come on, Naruto,'_ she thought. He was the antithesis of everything she wanted in a man. Loud, foul-mouthed, a horrible dresser, he had no respect for any authority figures. She could keep going all day about everything that was wrong with him.

'_He's also kind, loving, will do anything for anyone he considers a friend, puts himself in extreme danger to keep his promises. I can go on forever about the things that make him special,'_ Inner Sakura sarcastically answered in return.

At that, Sakura couldn't mount up a proper rebuttal. All of it was true. But still. Naruto. He was far behind anything she considered boyfriend material.

'_Who said we were talking about making him our boyfriend?'_

That's when Sakura made the decision to stop talking to herself. It was quickly becoming apparent that her inner woman was making a play at something she didn't want any part of.

Naruto?

Please.

The day she went after him as anything other than a friend, was when pigs would fly. Therefore signaling the end of all life as she knew it.

Besides, she had much more important matters to attend to. Being the Hokage's personal student wasn't exactly a walk in the park. Worrying about a relationship with anybody would only complicate matters.

Plus, her parents would be gone all day and the fridge was empty. Maybe a run to the market would take her mind away from the weird course it set on this morning. Just thinking about him…

Naruto?

Ha!

As Sakura wrote a short list of supplies, Inner Sakura shook her head. She could be dense a lot of times, namely dealing with Sasuke. It didn't take a genius to see the boy hadn't wanted anything to do with her romantically. Enough condescending putdowns and wordy slaps to the psyche should have made even Sakura understand when she was not wanted.

But that came with maturity. As a young girl, only her determination allowed Sakura not to succumb to depression. Sasuke, believe it or not, really had been the most important thing to her, and his not taking her away from Konoha was the best thing he could have done.

Now, years later, a beauty in her own right, Inner Sakura knew that being with Naruto was the best thing that could happen to herself. Not only would he protect her, but without a shadow of a doubt, she knew he would treat her like she deserved to be.

For weeks, she'd been eroding Sakura's defenses. Sending naughty dreams about Naruto and herself in hundreds of compromising situations, having talks about what it would be like to date someone who wouldn't make her chase them for once, and so many other tactics. The one problem was that the more she worked at Sakura's defenses, the more she herself wanted him, and now it seemed she didn't know where her want, and the outer Sakura's began.

The scene from the forest was just the icing on the cake. It made her vow that before the day was over she would be experiencing the wonderful lips of Uzumkai Naruto.

Walking out the door, Sakura had no idea why there was a blush on her cheeks.

* * *

Naruto tried to focus on the bowl in front of him. The marvelous masterpiece created by the gods of Ichiraku smelled heavenly. It was easy to say it would taste just as good. But to fully appreciate the work they put into it, it would require all of his attention. At the moment, that was a hard thing to gather.

On both sides of him were two girls, no make that women, each one eating their meals in different but just as efficient ways. During his travels, Naruto found out he could almost pinpoint a person's personality by the way they ate food. Naturally ramen was the best thing in the world, so it was easier for him to read people when they were eating the blessed noodles.

Take for instance, Temari. He noticed that she was what he dubbed a roller. Temari would take her chopsticks, grab hold of a nice amount of noodles, and roll them around until the noodles were wrapped into a nice ball, then eat them. It was an uncommon technique, one that very few people bothered to do in their rush to hurry up and finish eating. It also was a great example of his earlier thought. Her eating habit matched her personality perfectly.

He remembered the Chuunin exam, the second time he got to see her fight up close. Shikamaru, as lazy as unresponsive as he could be, was a known genius. But, the entire fight she held up mentally on her end, taking her time to think up strategies and plan counterattacks, giving pineapple head a good run for his money. That she lost was of little importance. It left an undeniable impression on him. Now she was a jounin, a very powerful one from what the old hag figured. Her pleas to not piss Temari off kind of nailed the point home.

Haku, now she was a strainer. She made sure there was not a single drop of juice capable of staining an inch of her clothing before eating. It was tedious and extremely boring, almost taking a full ten seconds to take one mouthful. Naruto would never be able to pull such a move off; he just didn't have the patience. Something Haku seemed to have in spades.

He hadn't gotten the full story yet, but for her to pull such a coup meant she was a planner. Someone that could wait weeks to make sure the right conditions were met before she enabled a plan. That was a strainer through and through.

Was there anything ramen couldn't help him solve? Naruto didn't think so.

"So Naruto-kun, what are you going to do now that you're back?" Haku asked.

His first goal was to get Sasuke back, without a doubt. Everything he had done for the past three years was to accomplish that one goal. But with this present situation hanging over his head he didn't know what to do. They came all the way here to see him, and if he just left to go and run around the country looking for his lost teammate he didn't think Haku or Temari would appreciate it. Add to that Gaara and Haku's father and things could get really ugly.

Unfortunately Naruto was going to get a crash course in what ugly really meant.

Naruto opened his mouth to answer when his danger sense started kicking in. What is this danger sense? Simply an involuntary internal defense that helped him peg incoming trouble aimed his way. It was a necessary skill he picked up. Traveling with Jiraiya and dealing with his blowups with the female populace meant life and death struggles with various female mobs.

"Naruto-kun, who are your friends?"

Turning around, Naruto found Tenten giving both girls cursory glances, especially Temari. She hadn't forgotten about the humiliation she had to take during the chuunin exams.

"Uh…"

At his non-answer, her eyes narrowed into slits, a fair bit of fire sparking in them. "You don't seem to ready to answer my question, Naruto-kun."

"About that… Uh…"

Temari, seeing where this would eventually end up going decided to cut to the chase. "We're his fiancée's."

There was a collective gasp of shock from everyone in sound range, the loudest coming from someone behind Tenten. Slowly Hinata stepped into the small cove, dazedly looking at the three people seated on the stools.

"Is that true Naruto-kun? Are you getting married?" Hinata asked, looking to be on the verge of tears.

Uncomfortable with the amount of attention focused on him, Naruto reluctantly answered. "Not really. They're here so I can get to know them better, at least that's what Tsunade-obaasan said. Something about not making me rush into a bad decision. I can say no."

Ever the conspirator, Haku watched the hope flair in the eyes of both young ladies and didn't like it one bit. Call her whatever you want but she was not going to lose the one male she wanted to a bunch of little girls.

Scooting over to grab his arm, Haku snuggled into his side, crushing his arm against her breasts, making Naruto turn red as a tomato. "We just have to make sure you don't. I don't mind becoming an Uzumaki."

If she could gauge it, Haku swore the temperature almost shot up several notches. Turning her charming smile to the silently seething girls, Haku reveled in the destruction. Glancing to her side she could see Temari quickly realizing the same thing. That these females were going to be trouble.

Hinata remembered her father's earlier words and cooled down. She would not let that hussy get to her. "Naruto-kun, may I talk to you in private?" Hinata asked.

Temari narrowed her eyes, heading off the all too apparent attempt to remove them from the variable. "I don't think he can. He was told to help us look for housing."

Tenten frowned, her face taking on a scary resemblance to Neji at his most frightening. "I don't think she asked you. Naruto-kun can speak for himself."

"Listen here _chuunin,_ you need to mind your elders," Temari almost snarled.

"Why you …"

Hinata turned to Naruto, zoning out the mounting argument to her right, and tried to grab his hand, but was stopped by Haku's impossibly quick reaction. "I don't think taking him at this moment will be the best course of action."

"Is that a threat?" Hinata asked, her voice deceptively calm.

"Wow Ayame-chan. This new recipe is great. Your ramen is almost better than your old mans."

And just like that, the tension that had clogged the air, the violence that was only a few seconds away from commencing shattered when all four girls turned to look at the grinning Naruto and blushing, but slightly frightened Ayame.

Just now noticing the eerie quiet, Naruto turned and looked around. "What?"

Naruto may rip into the perverted Jiraiya a lot of the time, and for good reason, but when the four females surrounding him suddenly started grinding their teeth, battle aura's glowing in various frightening colors, he had no choice but to rely on one of his sensei's age old tactics.

Make someone else the scapegoat and get the hell out.

Women hated perverts, it was hard wired in their DNA. That's why Kakashi provided the perfect cover for him to get out this situation. "Look, there's goes Kakashi reading that perverted book again. Oh my God, there are kids in sight."

Everyone looked at the silver haired shinobi who was, to his impeding detriment, actually walking past a group of children with his all too familiar orange book in hand. Feeling the heating gazes, he looked up to see a group of angry females glaring daggers at him.

"Oh boy."

They were taking measured steps toward Kakashi, the malice in their eyes easy to see, and the promise of pain all too apparent. Naruto, in a stealthy move, dropped his payment and a sizeable tip for Ayame, gave, a small wave, a beat a hasty retreat.

'Serves the pervert right. I told him those books were going to get him killed,' Naruto thought as he raced toward safer grounds.

* * *

AN: Thanks go to JohnnyG for looking over this. It seems my subconscious is intent on making me write poorly enough that he uses entire days to fix my writing problems.

A little longer than last time and with time constraints it took a lot longer than expected but here it is. Got to give a big thank you to the reviewers. I was more than a little surprised to see the amount of responses.

Some people are wondering about Hiashi. Actually, JohnnyG came up with the idea of him supporting Hinata for once. When he gave me the idea, I simply ran with it. It may seem a bit unbelievable, but if his own kid, Hinata of all people, attacked him in a blind fit of rage, then either two things might happen. He'll either take a long look at himself and change, or he'll continue to be the prick he is and go on his merry way. I chose the former apparently. As for Hinata herself, you can only be a kickstand for so long in your life before you take extreme measures to remedy the problem. Strangely, I can see her pulling a Tonya Harding under the worst conditions.

As you can see from the ramen scene, there is going to be an inordinate amount of violence. So pasting an extreme AU disclaimer in front is kinda late, but be forewarned.


	3. Chapter 3

**Trouble With a Capital T**

By: Gmusick

**Chapter 3: **

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, boy I wish I did, but I don't.

Even with the considerable distance he put between the angry women and himself, Naruto could hear a distinctive ripping sound, almost like the pages of a book tearing, followed by one of the most anguished, terror-filled screams he had ever heard. Naruto never slowed his pace, but gave a small prayer to the gods asking that Kakashi-sensei didn't land in the hospital again. After all, he wanted to go on missions.

A very unlikely possibility with the way things looked before he left.

If he thought of it in terms of tradeoffs, Naruto hated giving up his standard four super-sized special bowls of the greatest gift known to man, but the decision had been relatively easy when he considered hospitals didn't did not serve ramen. They went so far as to say eating too much was not part of a balanced diet. As if they would know anything. But he was glad Kakashi-sensei once again was there to help his students in their time of need.

'_Thank you Kakashi-sensei.'_

There was a lesson to be learned here. The encounter had not failed to point out some obvious landmines that would need to be carefully avoided if the next few weeks or months were to pass in peace.

The most important was not to invite more than one person out to ramen. Then he would not have to concentrate so much on conversations, therefore putting an end to the fights before they happened.

With the problem easily settled, in his own poor, deluded mind, Naruto focused his attention on his surroundings to keep a lookout for anybody he knew personally. The past week was pretty much filled with nothing but training and more training. Since their three three-year journey was cut short, Naruto put a premium on working himself to exhaustion most afternoons. He wasn't making anywhere near the progress he was during their road-trip, but it was better than sitting and letting the few things he did know deteriorate.

"Naruto-kun?"

Naruto skidded to a halt along one of the rooftops, casting a look round to try and locate the caller.

"Down here."

Looking down, he found his teammate Sakura, carrying a bag that looked filled with groceries.

"Hey Sakura-chan. What are you doing?"

Frowning at his lack of anything approaching manners or common decency, Sakura shouted up at him, "Naruto get down from there."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders before hopping down to land in front of her. Eyes closed in happy half moon crescents, the familiar scene of Naruto rubbing the back of his head brought an involuntary smile to Sakura's face.

"Where were you going?" Sakura asked.

"No where really. I'm more bored than anything."

Sakura shook her head. "Naruto, it's a beautiful day. Why don't you take a break and enjoy it for once."

"I do enjoy my days. Future Hokages can't take days off."

"Well today you will," Sakura said with a frown marring her face.

"But I don't want to," Naruto whined, his face turning into a tear-inducing pout.

The frown morphed into a scowl, her eyes narrowing into slits, and a small, but all too real fire flared in her eyes. "You .will take a break today and that's final."

Preservation instincts kicking in, Naruto decided that being quiet would net him a far better outcome than trying to continue arguing. And the thought of running was ended when he thought Sakura would run into him sooner or later when they had another team meeting. By then her temper would have reached legendary levels.

Not something he wanted to experience first hand.

Sakura took his silence to mean he would listen to her for once. "Here, you can take these groceries to my house for me."

"But that's boring."

The sound of leather tightening in her fist alerted Naruto to the dangerous predicament he found himself in. "Uhh, never mind. I'll be glad to help Sakura-chan."

Sakura's smile was radiant, happy that she was able to corner him into spending some time with her without looking like she was actually trying. Surprisingly, the earlier gag reflex was absent, making Sakura wonder if something was wrong with her.

As the two of them began walking toward her home, Sakura remembered her earlier proclamation about pigs flying and chanced a look up in the sky. She was about to release a relieved sigh when the sight of Tonton flying over someone's roof made her jaw hit the floor.

Inner Sakura could only give an amused chuckle. Irony was a beautiful thing sometimes.

* * *

Ayame was a sweet girl. She was raised by her father, who was a retired chuunin, and her mother, who was the sweetest woman in the world, and even with their Spartan lifestyle, they always managed to get her everything she needed. She was loved, raised to be an ideal young woman, and promised her father's beloved ramen stand if she wanted it when she got older.

It may not sound as important to another person, but you had to take into account her fathers love for the art, the art of making ramen.

She didn't know the entire story, but her father had been a ninja of Konoha. He wasn't very talented, but he used his head to help him make it through the bloody battles that existed during his time. But after years of service, the daily grind began to get to him.

Retiring in his mid-thirties, her father decided he would pursue another one of his goals, to open up his own stand and make a living feeding the same people he spent so many years protecting. It was there he met her mother, who incidentally was his very first customer.

Her mother, a woman from a family that specialized in making durable clothing for the shinobi of the village, which meant they were extremely wealthy, was younger than her father by eight years. But from the story she always found her mother reminiscing, her mother would always tell her it was love at first sight.

It took them years to finally settle down. Between her family wanting her to remain in the family business, and thinking shinobi were beneath their daughters notice, and her father's reluctance to start any kind of relationship with anybody, her mother had her work cut out for her.

But she persevered, choosing love over her birth family. When her family threatened to disown her for dating Ayame's father, mother simply took her name away from the family registry and never looked back. Spending the rest of her days helping her father at the ramen stand, and enjoying the time they had with each other.

It was a dangerous thing to think, but Ayame always wondered if her mother regretted her decision. Other than her father, and his extended family who loved her unconditionally, everyone from her mothers side seemed to give her the cold shoulder; Aacting as if she never existed. It was puzzling as a child, and until she had grown older, Ayame never knew why her relatives acted as such.

Her mother never did treat them the same way they treated her. She treated everyone the same, with a love and care for their well-being that stunned people speechless. Ayame had never once seen her parents in a public argument. Sure she knew on a fundamental level that everything was not perfect, but they always managed to provide a happy, stable home.

That was how she and her little brother grew up. And it was why she never looked at Naruto the same as everyone else. Her father treated him like a son, and when she was around her mother babied him until he would go red in the face. Her family treated him like one of their own.

Her mother had at one time tried to get Naruto to come and live with them. Initially, she had no idea he had lived by himself, and furious with the Hokage and everyone else in the village she had went directly to the Hokage to try and adopt Naruto. But the decision had been Naruto's and by then, at the age of seven, Naruto had been so used to living on his own he turned down the offer, even with her mother's pleading. He was just too used to having to take care of himself to go and be a burden on someone else.

But he continued to visit, stopping by everyday for the longest time. It allowed her to watch him grow into the person he was today and admire him just as much. Ayame had to be frank, she liked him. She liked what he was, and liked the way he was growing up.

Ayame was sure she had managed to keep her slight crush a secret, but somehow she knew her mother knew. Since his return from his three-year trip, her mother would give her these sly looks whenever Naruto came around, and it was becoming frustrating.

With the ramen stand winding down for the day, Ayame thought about the near brawl that had taken place this afternoon, though the way that silver-haired man screamed when his book was ripped and burned would haunt her for some time. She had no idea what it was about, but she could guess it had everything to do with Naruto. She remembered the older looking two talking about being fiancée's to Naruto, but that couldn't be true. He would have told her something by now.

He would always make time to talk to her about everything that happened to him, whether it was something important like what to do about his crush on Sakura, or simpler things like why ramen wasn't considered the greatest food on earth, he would come to her. They sat and talked for hours about his adventures during the three years away.

But if he was engaged, what could she do? That was when she remembered her mother giving her one of her many pearls of wisdom.

**Flashback**

Her mother stopped preparing dinner to look at the young girl to her left. "Ayame-chan, isthere something you want to ask me?"

Ayame hesitated, reluctant to voice her concerns. But her mother's patient and loving smile pushed her forward. "Okaasan, what if you like a boy, but can't talk to him because other people might not like you?"

Her mother stirred the skillet, gathering her thoughts before putting her message in a way her daughter could understand. "Ayame-chan, when I first met your father, I made a promise to myself right then and there that I would make him my husband. I didn't know what reason or why, but I knew he was the one for me. Oh, he was polite, and well-mannered, but he just didn't think he was ready for any relationship."

Ayame looked surprised. "But wasn't otousan old enough to be married by then."

"Yes, he was. By then he was almost an old folgy," he mother said with a fit of giggles. "But I loved him all the same. My family didn't like him so much. I would go so far to say they hated him."

Ayame could not figure out why anyone would hate her father. He was the kindest man she had ever known. He never raised his voice at anyone.

"I know what you are thinking and I think the same thing. How could anyone hate him, But people rarely need a reason to hate. Usually it takes nothing more than their insecurities to spurn them forward." Taking a deep breath, her mother turned the burner off and ran her hand through Ayame's lengthening hair. "What I'm saying is that, do not ever let anyone else tell you how you should feel about someone you care about. Follow your heart and it will never lead you wrong."

Ayame thought it over. What her mother was saying sounded nice, but could she really do that?. It sounded good, but nothing was ever that easy.

"Another thing Ayame-chan, if I listened to everyone else instead of _my_ heart, I wouldn't have had this beautiful little girl standing next to me."

**End Flashback**

So maybe she should just listen to her heart. It worked for her mother, and she always seemed happy. That didn't seem that hard of a task. _'Taking Naruto-kun a bowl of ramen for breakfast would be nice.'

* * *

_

Sakura opened the door to her home and directed Naruto toward the kitchen. Naruto dropped the package, looking around the nicely furnished home with a little bit of awe. A reasonable reaction when you considered how Naruto's home always looked like a war zone to everyone but his own eyes.

"Wow Sakura-chan, you have a really nice home."

Sakura smiled, blushing at the light, unintentional compliment. "Thank you. I don't do much but live here. My parents are the ones you should thank."

Naruto did not seem to hear her, too busy looking at anything and everything in the house. He continued to peruse everything in sight, stopping at one of the pictures hanging on the wall in the room.

"Is this you?"

Sakura walked up to him, unconsciously putting as little space as possible between the two of them. "Yup. That was my three year birthday party."

After a while and Naruto hadn't said anything, Sakura turned to see his gaze lingering on the picture, the expression on his face something she had never seen before. He looked so lonely, like he was the only person in the room.

"…Naruto?"

He blinked, pulling away from wherever he was and smiled at her concerned look. "There are a lot of people in the picture. You must have a big family."

"Yeah. I'm the first one to become a shinobi in years. My great-grandfather was the last one."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock. "You're really cool then Sakura-chan. I didn't know"

Sakura said nothing, she held his blue-eyed gaze looking for something she could not define. But before she could find her answer Naruto turned away and started walking along the wall looking at the rest of the pictures that were hung.

"Do you want something to drink?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, I'm okay. I should be heading back home."

Naruto looked ready to leave and Sakura screamed out, "WAIT!" Naruto stopped in mid-step, wondering if he did something like leave a smudge on one of the pictures. Sakura's brain scrambled for something to say. She had not meant to call out to him, but now that he had stopped what did she say?

'_Help me… please.'_

Inner Sakura simply smiled at the outer Sakura's predicament. She would have stood back and let Sakura make her own mistakes, but her happiness was at stake as well. It was all about the balance of inner and outer peace, or whatever that meant. She was never into that ying-yang stuff.

'_Ask him to eat with you. Your parents aren't home. No one is going to say anything.'_

'_But…'_ outer Sakura started.

'_Listen girl, if you don't try to get in good now, you won't have a second chance. I'm getting vines from him_.'

'_Vibes?' _

Inner Sakura nodded her head. _'You know. When women single out a certain male as theirs they place their mark on him. You can't see it, but if you use your womanly intuition you can tell. I don't think there is a place someone hasn't marked on Naruto.'_

Sakura took a quick glance and blinked, stupefied. There were different colored flags pinned all over his body.

'_What the hell?'_

Inner Sakura was just as surprised as Outer Sakura. She really had not known it was so many. The Hyuuga girl, and his two new fiancée's she knew about. But there were over a dozen total.

'My God. Who are all theses women?' Inner Sakura whispered in silent horror.

Outer Sakura didn't know, and didn't care. All this did what point out to her how wrong she had been. But she would not lose him to those hussies. _'I'm going to fix him the best meal he's ever tasted in his life.'_

With the youthful fire of determination burning in her eyes, Sakura approached Naruto and took his hand in hers. Naruto looked at her and swallowed the lump of coal in his throat at the look she was giving him.

"Sakura-chan?"

"I'm cooking. Will you stay and eat with me?"

'_My Kyuubi sense is tingling,' _which, when translated, means oncoming danger he needed to look out for. But the grip Sakura had on his hand was so tight, with a small twinge she could break his hand.

"Okay Sakura-chan, I would love to."

Sakura smiled, and Naruto was relieved it wasn't the 'Pain Is Coming' smile or the 'I Am Going to Kill You' one.

"Do you know how to cook?" Naruto asked after he thought just what he would be eating.

There was a deceptive shift in Sakura's facial expression, Naruto called this new look the 'One More Word and You Will Be Hurt' look.

He wisely kept silent after that.

* * *

A very tired Naruto slowly made his way into his very small, but cozy apartment. He left his lights off, using the moon to shine light on where he needed to go. Today had been something of an anomaly. Not only had he spent time with Sakura, but she didn't seem to want to leave him alone. Surely his teammate was sick, or maybe she was getting really worried about Sasuke.

Did he still like her? Of course, but it wasn't with the same burning idiocy from his childhood. Ero-sennin had taught him a lot of things,. when he wasn't off on one of his perverted quests for porn. But one of the things that stuck with him till this day was, when he said that with women, sometimes letting them go is the best thing you could ever do for them.

So he left his notions of the perfect girlfriend behind and focused on other things. Who knew? Maybe if he followed ero-sennin's advice, Sakura might come around sometime in the future.

Somewhere in the cosmos, the notion of irony was close to tears he was laughing so hard.

After a quick meal of instant ramen, and a quick brush of his teeth, Naruto stripped down into his boxers, and slid under his sheets. As strange as today was, he could guess tomorrow would be even weirder.

Just as he laid his head on the pillow, there was another body already under the sheets, this one entirely nude. A pair of slim arms snugly wrapped themselves around his waist, and he could feel a pair of bare breasts press into his back, a shapely leg crossing over his own.

"Naruto-sama, I have missed you," the hard, yet somehow delicate voice said.

Naruto immediately knew who it was. "Kin, what are you doing here, and in my bed?" he asked, shocked at the girls boldness.

Snuggling up even closer, Kin's voice was almost a whisper in his ear. "After you tied me up in the middle of the night and left me on the doorstep of the kind, elderly lady, I simply untied myself and followed your trail back here to Konoha."

"…What?"

Dropping a light kiss on his cheek, Kin elaborated for his sake. "After you saved me, I made it my vow to follow you till the end. You cared enough to save me, and I will dedicate my life to making sure you will never be alone again."

What do you say to someone that gave such a dedication to your wellbeing? If you were Uzumaki Naruto, the only thing you could say was, "Damn. This is going to get bad."

* * *

AN: First of all, got to give a shout out to 'Begging for an update.' Yes that is the actual reviewers' name. I give you props for just being different. There you have it. Everyone is in and hopefully no one else will crash the party, at least that's what my imagination is leading me to believe so I have to believe it. Where the hell did Ayame and Kin come from! I don't even know myself, but two reviewers managed to point them out, something I was surprised about. It was always at the back of my head, but I didn't want to try it until I had a good enough background history setup for both of them. But now I do, so there they go. Do I know that Kin died in the anime? Yes, but if Haku is alive and a girl, I might as well go all out. This thing is so far removed from canon there is no hope of it going back.

Who does Naruto hook up with? I favor the multi-girl scenario, but until I can think up something even remotely believable it's not going to happen.

Anyway, because of so many girls I'm opening a voting contest after each chapter. The catch is you're not voting for who he ends up with, you're voting for the character you want to have the most face-time in the next chapter. Of course voting them in doesn't mean they'll have the scenes you want to see so that's another catch, but this is a silly fic. I'm aiming for a bit of violence, with a load of humor.

That's it for this chapter, sorry for the delay but hopefully, the next won't take as long. And I promise the next chapter will have a lot more substance. Look forward to it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Trouble With a Capital T**

By: Gmusick

**Chapter 04:** **Mornings Should Never Be This Exciting **

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, boy I wish I did, but I don't.

Editor's Note: Hey folks, JohnnyG here. I just wanted to make it clear that I had nothing to do with this delay. I bugged and bugged (and then bugged some more, because I'm annoying like that) Gmusick to release a new chapter (of any of his stories), and lo and behold, here we are. Of course, me doing that to the poor guy is completely hypocritical due to my own lack of updates, but what can you do? Anyhow, enjoy reading; I know I did.

Haku would not have been regarded by her fellow shinobi as a generational genius without a lack of awe-inspiring results. Her missions were always completed with a speed and precision that made some of her seniors green with envy. No details were ever left unturned in her pursuit. And because of her unknown parentage, that only added to the whispers.

Frankly, Haku didn't give a shit.

As unladylike as that sounded, that was as blunt as she could make it. People saw what they wanted to see when it came to her. Led by their eyes, they took one glance at a picture and took that one time to formulate a lasting perception that would take weeks of change to fix. Haku had no time for such trivialities.

As she greeted the morning from the window in the apartment she and the Sand representative Temari would be housed in during their stay, Haku sat on the windowsill, admiring the beautiful morning at its dawn.

Continuing on with her former thoughts of perception she looked down at herself. Clad in a beautiful kimono, raven-black hair flowing down her back, and beautiful brown eyes, she was the picture of feminine domesticity. A home, two children to look after while her husband worked a number of jobs to bring in the income. That is what they saw when given a first glance. Not knowing she was the second-in-command to the leader of Kirigakure's Seven Legendary Swordsmen.

That at nineteen she had accomplished feats very few in the militaristic nation could hope to match.

Or that her mother was killed by her father's best friend.

That she spent the greater part of her years working undercover to bring down one of Kiri's most dangerous opponents.

Haku was, who she was because her childhood had been shattered one morning when both her and her mother were sent into hiding because of a coup against her father;, the Kage had almost succeeded.

As she thought of this, a frown began to mar her beautiful features, and her hands that gave no outward signs of her true profession were clenched into fists.

"It's too early in the morning to be up. What are you doing?"

Haku released a tense breath, smiling at her new roommate. After Naruto disappeared on the two of them yesterday and the two female interlopers left them in peace,. she and Temari were granted a chance to get to know each other, and Haku could say with the utmost certainty that she enjoyed her time with the kunoichi. She had a brilliant mind, was extremely adept at her art, aspiring to make her village a better place, and loved her family, even with their odd eccentrics. That was enough to let Haku know just what type of person she was and was the deciding factor in Haku voicing her idea of them sharing a home.

Not only did it allow them to watch each others back in a foreign country in case of any attacks, but as Haku noticed yesterday, it helped the two of them provide an effective front against any male foolish enough to try any groping, though one of them was more than enough to handle such a situation.

"Just thinking. It is a beautiful morning, is it not?"

Her blonde-haired roommate walked the short distance to the window, and stood next to her one leg that was dangling from the side. "It does look nice. We don't get weather like this at home. Nothing but sand and sun all day, everyday."

Haku nodded her head. "After the winter winds and storms leave, there are two months of the most beautiful weather one could ask for. But, then the fog comes around and the village is lost to the weather of our country. It can be frustrating most times."

Temari's lips twitched into a smirk. "I'll bet."

Haku never took her eyes away from the horizon. "You know, if he chooses you, you would wake up to this everyday."

"It has crossed my mind. But that is no guarantee. I didn't know his situation was so…" Temari paused to find the right word.

"Chaotic," Haku helpfully finished for her.

"Yeah," Temari said, looking irritated and rightfully so. "Those two girls from the ramen stand, and from the looks of it the female ramen vendor has a thing for him too. We saw him being led by the bubblegum-haired girl to her home. And last night I managed to find his home… there was a female voice inside different from anyone else we heard."

Temari didn't fail to see Haku tense up. "Were they…"

"No. He sounded more annoyed than anything and I heard him telling her he would sleep on his floor."

Haku shook her head, her expression contemplative. "We have to find out what is going on here. Tsunade-sama did not tell us there would be this level of competition. I was prepared to counter the actions by the one known as Tenten."

Temari agreed. "I agree. The last time I was here no one was interested in him, not romantically and he had very few friends from what I remember. Some people hated him and still do. What brought about such a drastic change is what I want to know."

"Perhaps seeing him after such a long separation brought such a change."

Temari frowned at that. "Then there are some really fickle girls living in this village."

"I rather believe that that they finally got a clue. Even had I not found out about his particular situation, I would have readily accepted this chance to become his betrothed."

Temari glanced down at the Mist-nin. "You have it bad for him don't you. Not to sound too candid, but you don't seem to go for the oblivious, super-strong type."

Haku smirked. "True, but you wouldn't have entertained this idea if you had not found something in him worth pursuing as well."

"What do you mean by that?" Temari asked, feigning ignorance of the implication.

"You brother cares for his village, but your future means more to him than he leads anyone to believe. Had you truly not wanted this, he would have went along with your wishes." Haku leaned forward and whispered. "What is it? What made you acquiesce to this avenue?"

Temari debated whether to lie outright or just continuing acting as if she had no idea to what Haku was referring to. True, this woman from the village they once considered a hostile was nice enough, but Temari had been trained since she could walk to consider everyone an enemy. A skill made entirely too easy when your younger brother was mentally unstable, and strong enough to wipe out an entire village. Added to her reservations was that the woman was part of the competition.

But Temari was willing to take a chance, though the last time she did was with a pineapple-headed chuunin, and things hadn't worked out that well. The girl gave her no reason to doubt her sincerity and there was only so much subterfuge one could hide to well-trained eyes. Her cheery personality was a sharp contrast to the true extent of her skill and profession, providing a welcome change, she thought.

"I can't just pinpoint one thing about him." Temari began almost reluctantly. "He's just so different from anyone else I've ever known or met. He's changed my brother in ways that would never have been possible if he hadn't been beaten. So… if it is anything specific it's his strength. You know the story about their Hokage?"

Haku quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Tsunade-sama was brought back by Naruto. She left because of her brother's death, but somehow he managed to bring her back when she had no intentions of returning."

"A believable story considering the topic," Haku smiled.

"Just like that. You believe me without any cross examination," Temari asked.

Haku nodded. "I would not be here if I did not believe he was capable of such."

Temari said nothing, simply taking Haku's words for face value, somewhat envious of the other girl's easy belief in someone they barely knew.

"Now that I think about it,. you never did finish telling me that story about why Naruto was so surprised to see you."

Looking outside their window, Haku could see the sun rising above the Hokage mountain memorial and stood up as well. The day was beginning and there were numerous places she wanted to see during her visit. Naruto's well-placed distraction helped him avoid the task but there would be none of that this day. All obstacles would be moved without the slightest hesitation.

"Temari-san, we have a long day ahead of us. Naruto-kun will not escape our clutches this day."

Haku stood and gracefully made her way into the restroom to freshen up when she paused. "Dress nicely. We are making him our own personal tour guide for the rest of the day and then I'll tell you both the story over dinner."

* * *

The young man the beautiful duo were just discussing was caught up in another predicament.

Naruto could sleep pretty much anywhere at anytime. It was something he learned at an early age. When he lived in the orphanage, he was never given the regular bed everyone else had, and he would be lucky to get a bedroll. As a child he simply took it as normal, never questioning until he grew to understand what was going on. However by then such things never bothered him.

As he groggily woke up, the smell of breakfast, something other than his glorious ramen, made him crack open a grime-encrusted eyelid to see what was going on. Vision blurry, he tried to focus on the womanly shape that bustled its way around his small home.

Sitting up, he turned his head and caught the eye of the unknown interloper.

"Morning, Naruto-sama. I have gone and prepared a breakfast for you."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kin gaped openmouthed as Naruto began running around his room in circles, screaming his head off as if he had been set on fire. The first few seconds, she merely sat back and watched in amusement, but when the seconds turned into minutes and there was still no sign of him stopping, Kin decided to help him out. On his latest revolution around the room, Kin simply held out the frying pan she used to make breakfast.

The resounding clang was loud enough to make her ears ring.

Kin looked down at his sprawled out form, taking a second to marvel at Naruto's continually changing physique. The last time they were together was a little over three or fours months ago, and she remembered walking in on him bathing in one of the local streams. After being with that perverted teacher of his for so long, his body was beginning to show the results of his constant training.

Looking at him now, she could see for herself that he was not slacking in his training in the slightest, not if those amazing abs of his were any indication.

Grinning, Kin took a seat on those beautiful stomach muscles of his. "Now that you have stopped screaming like a mad banshee, I have fixed you breakfast. Are you hungry?"

Naruto tried rubbing away the reddening bruise on his forehead, frowning when he winced at the slight contact. "You didn't have to hit me so hard, Kin."

"You wouldn't stop unless I did something. What were you screaming about in the first place?"

Naruto's eyes widened in shock. "Hello! Girl, in my home, in my clothes, cooking breakfast! That doesn't seem weird to you?"

Kin thought about it for a second. "Not really. You are a teenager. And I thought boys your age loved stuff like this?" she said, slowly drawing a finger along Naruto's bare chest.

Displaying one of the very reasons he was loved by all women, and thought mentally unstable by his male counterparts, he said, "Stuff like what? I can cook my own breakfast. And ramen tastes really, really good in the morning."

An involuntary muscle twitch tightened Kin's grip on the frying pan to almost Tsunade-like levels. "This entire situation isn't tempting you at all, is it?"

Naruto scratched the tip of his nose, giving her a lighthearted grin. "Umm… I am kind of hungry…"

Kin sighed at the hopelessness of trying to sexually excite someone as dense as Uzumaki Naruto. She stood up and walked into his small kitchen. "Your food is ready."

"Did you fix me a special, one of a kind ramen?" Naruto asked, his eyes filled with sparkles in his eagerness.

The slight wrenching noise was the metal grip finally giving under the extreme duress. 'No, and if you don't want to bleed your brains out your ears you'll try it yourself,' Kin muttered under her breath. Aloud. she said "I prepared one of the meals my late mother taught me before she passed. I thought it would help you before you began your day, Naruto-sama."

Naruto looked up, noticing the slight sheen of tears and like any other male sucker, he was moved by such an act of kindness.

"Don't worry, Kin-chan. I know it'll taste the best. Good thing I'm really hungry." As if to help punctuate that fact, his stomach produced one of the most agonizing wails Kin had ever heard.

"When was the last time you ate, Naruto-sama?"

Naruto pondered for a split second. "I remember. It was yesterday afternoon. Sakura-chan cooked and invited me over. It was really weird though. She cooked so much food and her parents didn't come back home like she thought. I couldn't turn it down."

Kin didn't voice her feelings on the matter but internally she could just picture what happened. If she remembered correctly, Sakura was the pink-haired girl, the one her teammates nearly killed in the Chuunin exams. From the first glance she had loathed the girl. Knowing she had no idea what being a shinobi truly meant. She carried herself as if life was some big, beautiful dream to her and Kin had wanted to smudge that picture in so much dirt.

Who knew what her personality was like since that event, and personally, Kin didn't care. As long as she kept her handmade dinners, and weak excuses to crowd Naruto-sama's attention to herself, then there would be no problems.

Naruto blinked his eyes in confusion when he could see Kin grinding her teeth in a near snarl, a good-sized, almost translucent aura of anger rolling off her in waves.

"Um…. Are we eating?"

As if someone turned a light switch, Kin blinked and gave him one of her most awe-inspiring smiles.

'_Wow. How did she do that?'_

Instead of voicing his question out loud, Naruto simply chalked it up to one of those things about girls he would never understand and forgot about it.

"Kin-chan I…."

There was a knock at his door that pulled both their attention. Standing up, Naruto walked to the door, mindless of his current undressed state, wondering who would be coming to his home this early in the morning. Pulling the door open, Naruto jerked back from the early morning sunlight in his face.

Ayame stared at the blonde, her eyes continually drifting down to the lower region of his body. 'OH MY GOD. ! Naruto-kun is hot.!' She couldn't help the mental feminine squeal of girliness. 'I came at the perfect time. Now if he would just grab me, spin me inside the house, slam the door, and rip off my clo…..'

Gathering her slowly eroding thoughts, Ayame refocused her attention on those beautiful blue eyes. "Naruto-kun, I apologize for coming at such an inopportune time, but I thought you would love a specially made breakfast."

Naruto took a small sniff, the appealing smells hitting his nose like nothing else. His eyes slowly growing in size till they almost reached his eyebrows, Naruto reached forward as if he were touching a scroll containing the ultimate jutsu.

Wiping the small dabble of drool from his mouth he asked, "What flavor is this?"

Ayame smiled, leaning forward till their noses were almost touching. She couldn't stop her internal laughing at Naruto's reaction. Naruto kept trying to pull his attention away from the steaming bowl in her hands. His eyes darting to her own, before shifting back to the bowl.

When it looked he was locked in some sort of trance, Ayame decided to see if she could come in. "Um… Naruto-kun, you don't think I could…."

Suddenly, there was a very female sounding voice in the rear. Ayame craned her neck to the side, and almost snarled at the sight.

Kin, who had started toward the door, paused. As if drawn by some primal force neither could even begin to understand, they immediately launched at each other throwing punches, kicks, biting, pulling hair, anything to gain an advantage. Blows exchanging in a rapid fire musical of fist meeting flesh. Naruto had never seen anything like it.

Both girls started panting, exhaustion setting in, and could only glare at the other. Summoning up the last vestiges of strength within themselves, they started a mad dash at the other, fists cocked back for maximum black-eye potential. When they were only inches away their arms shot forward, like pistons, catching the other point blank in the face, the punches having enough power to send both corkscrewing into the walls of his apartment.

Naruto looked around home, whistling at the damage.

"Woah! Who knew Ayame could kick ass."

* * *

Naruto blinked his eyes, and was presented with a much more believable picture. _'Forgot Ayame hasn't had any ninja training. Hehehe.'_

"Naruto!"

"Naruto!"

"Naruto!"

"Naruto, don't you have anything to say?" an exasperated Ayame asked before Kin took the frying pan to the back of his head from the looks of it.

There was a bowl of ramen, very good ramen in his humble opinion, in his hand, and if he was right two agitated girls waiting for him to say something. This situation was bad enough that even he could see the bad results that could easily happen. His options of getting out were limited. Thinking quickly, Naruto tried to recall the various ways he'd seen his perverted sensei get out of similar situations. He could feel the answer on the edge of his mind, just waiting to be grabbed.

If only.

"Naruto, I didn't know you were having guests this morning." Haku said as she and Temari approached the scene. Her voice light and cheerful, but the glint in her eyes signaling that all was not well. Temari stood right next to the Mist kunoichi, the severe frown on her face leaving her dislike for the women, especially Kin who still was dressed in his shirt, present for all to see.

And as all this happened, Naruto was painfully aware his ramen was getting colder by the second.

"Why me."

No one answered him. The young women were too busy glaring at each other, battle auras flaring.

* * *

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A new update, and it only took me years. Now you people can get on me to get the next one started. Anyway, it's been sitting on my harddrive for a long time and I finally got to finish it. To the people reviewing and asking for updates, thank you, but shit happens. I'm sure lots of you can understand. To anybody working full-time and going to college. You get my respect. It's not easy. shrugs

On the story front, a lot of people have been wondering, and even suggesting a few interesting choices, about who else is going to join this thing. I can't give an answer. Just go along for the ride.

Now that this chapter is posted, you all go show JohnnyG the same amount of love. He needs to update.


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